Introduction

“My first act of free will shall be to believe in free will.” – William James

Have you ever felt stuck because you believed you didn’t have a choice?

Have you felt the stress from telling yourself, at the same time, “I can’t do this” and “I have to do this”?

Have you ever given up your power to choose until you find yourself down a path you didn’t choose from yourself?

If so, you aren’t alone. (Seriously, you’re not.)

One of the hardest things to learn is how to get back on your feet when you’ve been knocked on your ass. Especially when it happens over and over again.

In fact, constant failure and crushing disappointment are two of the biggest demotivating factors you can find in life. When you’ve been hurt enough times, suffered enough times, eventually you begin to believe that you have no other options. Fighting it wouldn’t make any difference.

It’s easier to just surrender – to give up and accept the inevitable and that the situation is helpless.

Simply put, these feelings of failure cause people to give up on the pursuit of their goals and dreams. 

I know because I’ve been there.

As a matter of fact, Chillpill started because both Matt and I felt trapped in a life that neither one of us saw for ourselves. We felt powerless to change it. We believed that the, so-called, Powers-That-Be were in control and had decided our fates.

But then we realized that life doesn’t have to be this way. What am I saying? I mean, LIFE ISN’T THIS WAY!

WE ARE IN CONTROL! 

WE ARE MASTERS OF OUR OWN DESTINY!

Once we realized this, we started to wonder why we allowed ourselves to feel so helplessness in the first place.

• What caused us to give up control of our lives?
• Where does this sense of helplessness come from and why do we give into it?
• How did we come to feel so utterly helpless?

Our questions led us to a condition known as learned helplessness.

(Whoo…that was a pretty intense intro. Before we jump into learned helplessness, enjoy this gif of two bunnies snuggling.)

Awww…so sweet.

…

Okay, let’s get into what learned helplessness is, shall we?

What is Learned Helplessness?

Learned helplessness is the result of repeated failure to control unwanted events or discomfort in your life. When you feel like you can’t escape pain, and you eventually stop trying to avoid the discomfort. Even when opportunities to escape are presented, this learned helplessness prevents any action.

Learned helplessness started with experiments performed by Martin Seligman and Steven F. Maier on a group of dogs conditioned to expect an electrical shock after hearing a tone. (Ummm…not cool.) 

The dogs were divided up into 3 groups:

1. In group one, the dogs were strapped into harnesses for a period of time and then released.
2. The dogs in the second group were placed in harnesses but were zapped with electrical shocks that could be avoided by pressing a panel with their noses.
3. The third group received the same shocks as the dogs in group two, except this group wasn’t able to control the duration of the shock. The shocks were completely random and outside of their control.

(It’s kind of like Pavlov’s experiment but a little more f*cked up.)

After the dogs were conditioned, they were released…ugh…I mean, they were placed in a shuttle box (pictured below) that contained two chambers that were separated by a low barrier. Being the psychos that they were, Seligman and Maier electrified half of the floor cause…why not?!

(These two dudes were definitely not hugged enough as kids.)

So what did they learn?

• All the dogs from Group 1 and 2 all “peaced out” and ran to the shock-free side to stop experiencing the shock
• All the dogs in Group 3 made NO attempts (not one) to get away from the shocks. They stayed in the shock zone, and submitted themselves to the discomfort.

Disclaimer: I absolutely DO NOT condone animal cruelty.

Now…with that said, you have to admit the results of this experiment are absolutely mind-boggling. I mean, isn’t it crazy that the dogs in Group 3 made NO attempt to escape, especially since they just had to jump over the lower barrier?!

Why didn’t they try to escape to freedom?

They believed they were powerless. They didn’t know they had any choice other than to take the shocks. The dogs developed an expectation that NOTHING they did would prevent or eliminate the shocks. These poor animals just dealt with the electrified floor because they felt like they lacked any control.

In other words, they learned to be helpless. The scary thing is humans learn helplessness in much the same way.

Alright…you know what?

Writing this is depressing the sh!t out of me! So let’s enjoy some kitties for a hot second!!!

Okay…I feel better. How about you? Good, let’s talk about learned helplessness in people now. (It’s okay, there’ll be some more cuddly animals waiting for you.)

Learned Helplessness in People

Like the dogs in the experiment, people simply give up in the face of adversity, or when they feel certain there’s nothing they can do to change things or their outcomes if they’re faced with it constantly.

In situations where people feel helpless, they:

• Either give up completely (much like the third group of dogs in the experiment)

OR

• Accept every opportunity presented, doing everything rather than choosing the opportunity that is best for them.

A similar learned helplessness experiment was performed on humans, where volunteers were divided into 3 groups. Rather than shock them, they were exposed to an annoying loud noise (probably Nickelback…)

The results were…unsurprising.

The group that was conditioned to believe they couldn’t turn off the noise, didn’t even try when they were put in a human-sized shuttle box. They were passive and don’t even try to escape – even though they just had to move their hands about 12 inches to turn off the noise! 12…inches.

Learned helplessness isn’t just something that’s isolated to a lab; it happens in real life as well.

An example of this is children, especially those who struggle with math. If a child performs poorly on math tests and assignments, they may start to feel that nothing he or she does will have any effect on his or her ability to learn math.When later faced with any type of math-related task, he may experience a sense of helplessness. (I kinda think this happened to me coz I used to be pretty good at math…now I’m afraid to add 1+1…urgh)

Another example?

Well…do you know anyone who don’t vote?

If they’re the type who believes voting doesn’t matter because things never change, politicians are evil, or one vote in several million doesn’t count, blah blah blah…yeah…that’s learned helplessness (with a pinch of apathy.)

The moral of the story is this: when people feel like they have no control over their situation, they begin to behave in a helpless manner – just like the zapped pups.

They lose their ability to create positive outcomes. They get so used to experiencing and expecting negative outcomes that they create a feeling of helpless.

Rather than looking at difficulties and failures in life as opportunities or lessons to help them grow and improve, these individual start to believe they can hide from pain and failure by…not trying at all. They almost see it as a security blanket.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy – by believing they’re powerlessness, these people shy away from opportunities to change, which strengths their feeling of powerlessness.

So..yeah…depressed again. But like I promised, more sweetie animals! This time – puppies!!!

Can Learned Helplessness Be Unlearned?

That’s the question, right?

Well, the answer is YAS!

Whatever you learn can be unlearned. You can override your thoughts, limits and perceptions.

So, what can someone do to overcome learned helplessness and regain confidence and personal power?

I will share two methods I learned and used myself to help me rise above feelings of powerlessness.

Ready to take back control of your life?